


Missing Timothy

by InnocencePoisoned



Series: Nessian- Teddy Bear Files [2]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Firsts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Misunderstandings, Teddy Bears, Written Pre-ACoWaR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:24:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8756026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnocencePoisoned/pseuds/InnocencePoisoned
Summary: Nesta's teddy bear has gone missing, Cassian has a breakdown and some feelings are revealed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is now going to be a new series following Nessian through Nesta's teddy bear, Timothy. This follows about two weeks after the previous story. (If you haven't read the previous one it goes like this: Nesta sleeps in the same bed as Cassian because she had really bad nightmares and he is the only one that her sleeping state trusts. Nesta also has a bear that she got from Elain as a joke but now she treasures it.)
> 
> Enjoy!

Missing Timothy

  


Cassian was in such huge shit.

How dare he? How _dare_ he?

Nesta was a force of nature, storming through the house with the kind of murderous expression that could scare any army into formation. The others wisely stood aside as she swept through.

She found him lounging on the couch in the common room, sunlight streaming through to catch on the book in his hand. She stopped in front of him, hands on her hips and eyes set into stone. Slowly, he lowered the book to look at her with a carefree gaze. “Were you looking for me?” he asked loosely.

Her temper flared again. “Where. The. Fuck. Is. My. Bear.”

Cassian had a deathwish, for he blinked up at her and smirked. “I have no idea what you're talking about, sweetheart.”

Her eye twitched, but she managed to reign in her violent urges. Instead she leaned forward, resting her hands on his knees and coming in close to his face. “My bear, Cassian.” her voice was deathly quiet. “Give it back or you'll wish you had upset Amren over me.”

Cassian didn't doubt one bit in his mind that he would probably regret this later on, but he took the risk and set down the book beside him. His wings closed around Nesta and himself, cocooning them in a move he loved to use on her. “I'll tell you if you give me a kiss.” he breathed.

She smiled sweetly, like the one someone would give before another person before attempting strangulation. “Do you like the thought of missing your balls?”

“I like the thought of you kissing me.”

Oh, she would kill him. She would first make him suffer; cut off a few fingers, pluck out the hair on his chest, maybe make good on the promise of feeding his favourite body part to water wraiths. But she wanted her teddy bear. She would never let him take away her most prized possession. So she played along, if only to get back that damned bear. “So if I kiss you, you'll give me back Timothy?”

“Timothy?” She narrowed her eyes in challenge and he wisely backed off. “Just one kiss, sweetheart. I promise I don't bite unless you ask me to.”

She smiled again, but this time it was more a grin that promised pain. She moved closer, until their breaths mingled. “I am going to drown you in your own tears.” she promised, before closing the space between them.

Her lips touched his, not the soft ghost of a kiss that he had expected, but a rough force that she unleashed in the simple touch. He moved against her in instinct, hand moving up to cup the back of her head while his lips parted slightly to give her the space she needed. She felt stiff, rough, completely inexperienced and he wanted to teach her. He wanted to be the one to take the reigns from her and slowly ease her into it instead of this blunt lesson she was trying to teach herself.

He was the one to pull away first, breaking away from her while still gently cradling her neck. “Nesta, I-”

She stopped him before he could say any more. “Where's Timothy?” she asked through clenched teeth.

Cassian, to his horror, noticed the tears in the corners of her eyes. “Nesta-”

“Timothy.” she insisted, nails digging into his knees.

“Under the pillow.” he said softly, lifting his wings from around them.

“Thank you.” she said stiffly, already walking away to reclaim her bear.

  


~o0o~

  


“Shit,” Cassian said for the fifth time.

“What did you _do_?” Feyre asked, sitting down beside him on the couch. She reached out and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He groaned and put his head in his hands. “I decided to be a smartass and hide Timothy.”

“Timothy?”

He nodded slowly, head still hidden. “The bear Elain gave her. Nesta's just been sort of quiet lately and I thought, 'hey, maybe she'll react if I hid Timothy'.”

“Bad idea.”

“Oh, it gets worse.” he sighed, finally lifting his head to look at her. “I said I'll tell her where he is if she gives me a kiss. I was expecting maybe a peck on the cheek or something right before she knees my balls again.”

“I'm guessing that's not what happened.”

“She kissed me and ran away. Gods, Feyre, I think she was _crying._ ” he stopped for a moment, mind racing. “You're her sister, right?”

Ferye rolled her eyes but kept the comforting hand on his shoulder. “I'm almost positive.”

“Then you would know if she's ever been... _with_ someone before. No, wait, I mean you would know if she's ever... uh, kissed anyone before, right?” Maybe speaking to his brother's mate was a bad idea. Maybe he should have gone to Azriel or Mor, someone that wouldn't give him that small sympathetic smile. Someone who would laugh at him and just tell him to go talk to her.

“Elain's more in touch with Nesta, so I'm not completely sure, but no, I don't think she has kissed anyone yet. Until today, I guess.”

Shit. Had he forced her to give him her first kiss? Had he pushed way too far? “I have to go talk to her.” he had already stood by the time he realised what he had said.

  


~o0o~

  


He found her quite easily, following her scent up until he came to his room, where they had been sleeping in the same bed for nigh on two weeks now. He was her anchor away from her nightmares, someone to drive away those midnight fears. And now he might have ruined it by misplacing a godsdamned bear.

He stopped in the doorway, hesitating before a light knock on the door. “Nesta?” he called.

There was a muffled sniff on the other side before an unwavering, “Come in.” sounded.

She was sitting on his- _their_ \- bed, cradling her bear between her arms. Cassian didn't miss the red under her eyes or her lips that had been bitten to swell. There was no denying it, she had been crying. And he was the cause of it. His stupid, selfish self was the reason why she would leave him.

“Yes?” her voice came out strong, despite the evidence of tears staining her cheeks pink.

“Nesta, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”

“Sorry for what?” her posture was a challenge, to try say that she was weak. Cassian thought she was anything but.

He frowned. “For thinking that this was a good idea. I didn't think it through. I was stupid and-”

“Yes, you _were_ stupid.” she agreed, lifting her chin, eyes guarded.

His jaw clenched but he remained. He deserved this, he reminded himself, he deserved her iciness after forcing her to kiss him. “Nesta, I am sorry for asking you for a kiss.” he was sorry for a lot of things, but this was the only thing he could admit right now.

Her eyes softened, briefly and barely visible before her guards raised up again. But he saw it, and he regretted making her use it again. His heart broke anew. “Please, please don't do this.” he said quietly.

Her perfect brow arched. “Do what? I'm just sitting here.”

He stepped forward, closer to her and she seemed to stiffen up. “Please don't lock me out. Please don't lock away _yourself._ ”

Her jaw set. “I'm not doing anything-”

“You are, Nesta! You're doing that thing where you pretend that no one cares about your feelings, so you lock them away, trying to protect yourself from _yourself_. Please, just give me something other than ice or indifference, because it's not healthy for you to pent up all these feelings like this.”

She stoop up, a furious expression on her face. “And what about you, huh? You pretend that everything is just one big joke, like nothing in the world bothers you much. Like some self-absorbed _prick_. But the moment _I_ do something, it's like chaos had just been released!”

She had every right to be mad, but now his temper was rising same as hers. “Because I actually care about you, Nesta!”

“There's nothing to care about, Cassian! It was just a little kiss!”

“It wasn't just a kiss, Nesta!” he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shout it until she understood. “I forced you to do something you didn't want to do! I took something sacred away from you just because I thought it would be some joke to annoy you!”

The last time he had taken something sacred it had been Mor. He had taken away something that couldn't be given back. And now he had done it again. With Mor he had waved it off afterwards and had regretted it ever since. He wouldn't let that happen again, not with someone he cared about.

His chest was heaving, he realised, and there was tears at the corners of his eyes. And Nesta was standing right in front of him, still angry. “I wanted to give you that.” she said quietly. “I wanted you to be my first kiss but I just never wanted it like that. I didn't want it to happen like that, when I was angry.”

Her hand reached out, a thumb tracing his cheekbone and a shaking hand on his jaw. “I was mad that you stole Timothy and I was mad that you wanted to ruin this romantic idea of my first kiss by just _asking_ for it. Then I ruined it by being mad, so I ran.”

Despite himself, despite the softness of her words or the hollow feeling in his chest filling out again, he chuckled. “Romantic idea?”

A small smile graced her lips, and he wondered when he had ever been so lucky to have her smile like that for him. “Under the moonlight among the roses or at a candlelit dinner.”

“I'm afraid that's its daylight outside and I'm not very good at cooking.” he said, daring to move ever so slightly closer and rest his forehead against hers.

“I would still eat whatever you gave me.” she whispered.

A cheeky grin found its way on his face. “ _Anything_?”

“Gods, you're such a prick.”

And despite herself, despite the shit-eating grin of his or the fact that she had cried over him not ten minutes ago, (she had actually _cried_ , for the first time she could remember, and she had cried over something so small and trivial), Nesta leaned forward, closing the already small gap between them and gently pressed her lips to his.

It was soft- she was inexperienced afterall- but Cassian loved it regardless. Her hands were on his cheeks and his were slowly moving to her waist. Slowly, feather like, he moved back against her, until she was beginning to understand and her movements became more confident, fluent against his own. He still wanted to teach her, despite what happened between them, he would rejoice in teaching her how to kiss.

As his mind started wandering down roads, what else he could teach her to do, he pulled away. She was breathing heavily, lips swollen for an entirely different reason. And he smiled at her, and she smiled back and everything in the world was bright and colourful.

She had wanted _him_ to be her first kiss, and she didn't regret it.

**Author's Note:**

> (Just a side note, sorry for any grammar or spelling errors, I don't yet have a beta.)


End file.
